Go for it...but do it right

Goals – 101

The next two newsletters consolidate multiple Goal-setting posts I shared on Instagram. For those of you who follow me there, my hope is that this will be a valuable resource for you (that doesn’t require you to search through multiple posts to find ideas you want to revisit.)

For those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, I hope that these articles will be encouraging, educational, and empowering for you as you pursue your goals – whatever they may be.

I’ll begin with a quote. I’m not sure if it should be attributed to Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (where I found it decades ago), but it’s been a grounding “I CAN” reminder during several significant changes in my life.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

The moment one commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Photo by Millo Lin on Unsplash

So, our focus for the next few weeks is on moving from dreams to reality, and the differences between wishes and actionable goals. The key message is YOU CAN!

And, ONLY YOU can.

Understanding goal-setting and other theories of motivation can certainly help you, but COMMITTING is a necessary and internal first step.

How are those New Year’s Resolutions going?

Even if you didn’t make any this year, it’s almost certain that each of us has made New Year’s Resolutions at some point. Entire industries are built around our desire to achieve goals. But, if they were effective in helping you reach your goals, you wouldn’t need them anymore. It would be one and done. But, year after year after year, we’re making the same resolutions and year after year after year, we’re “failing”.

So, why bother?

Because there is evidence that goal setting does work – if we draw on the research (not the marketing.) In fact, goal setting theory is one of the most supported and applied theories of motivation.

Goals:

· Direct your attention

• Produce effort

• Increase your persistence

· Increase your development of effective goal attainment strategies

Goals direct attention. Intentionally setting goals allows you to draw back from that incessant, overwhelming stream of voices (including your own) telling you what you “should” be doing. It lets you zoom in and truly see – and ultimately make progress toward – what you’ve decided is important to you. They help you direct your attention.

Goals produce effort. The reality is that we each have limited resources – of time, money, and energy.

Well-crafted goals clarify what’s important to you. And, we tend to do what’s important to us. The bottom line is that only when we truly value something AND believe our efforts will lead to that outcome will we consistently put in the effort.

Goals increase your persistence. Not only do we have limited resources and competing demands on them, we all have habits and face unexpected challenges. Working toward something is hard. “Why bother” and “I can’t do this” voices are often incredibly loud and powerful. Effective goals help you to quiet those voices so that you can keep going.

Goal setting helps you work smarter, not harder. People who set clear goals, who develop strategies to reach those goals, and who then accomplish those goals learn how to achieve goals. So developing good goal-setting practices not only helps you reach the goals you’re targeting now, they make you SMARTer by increasing your ability to figure out the best ways to reach future goals, too.

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash

SMART Goals

SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Accepted and Actionable, Realistic but Challenging, and Time-bound.

Specific. Effective goals are not vague or general. Remember the “direct attention” principle I just presented. A broad, unclear goal will not help you target your energy.

Measurable. One of the most consistent conclusions in the study of goal-setting is that feedback is critical. You must have some way of knowing (measuring) whether the steps you’re taking are producing the progress you want. You must have some way of knowing (measuring) whether or not you’ve actually achieved your goal.

Accepted and Actionable. We’ll expand on these ideas, but the bottom line is that if you’re going to persist in your efforts toward a goal, you must accept that it’s important and worthwhile, and you must accept ownership of it. You must accept your responsibility for and agency (empowerment to ACT) to achieve it. In other words, the goal has to be something you can DO, as opposed to just something you might want to “get.”

Realistic, but Challenging. Research has shown that the most motivating goals are challenging, but achievable. They are difficult, but not too hard. They will push you and you’ll believe they’re worth the effort. You’ll feel some pride and satisfaction in working toward and achieving them (assuming the outcome is valued by you – back to the accepted idea.)

Time-bound. We have to give ourselves targets. How will you know if and when you’ve reached your goal? This connects to the need to ensure our goals are measurable, but it recognizes that we need an end-point – and, ultimately, checkpoints along the way where we can receive feedback and evaluate our progress.

Ultimately, being ruthlessly honest about what is important to us and where and why we’re willing to invest our time and energies, is at the heart of effective goal setting.

WHY?

It might seem obvious that we know what’s important to us, but life’s demands and internalized social norms can make things cloudy.

I’ve worked with many adults – some at the executive level in professional fields who had just lost their jobs during a company RIF (reduction in force) – who stated they still didn’t know what they “wanted to be when they grew up.” My March 31 newsletter addressed this. https://open.substack.com/pub/profwalker/p/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow?r=58o3ch&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Life often takes us along for a ride, and we end up devoting very little time to actually deciding our paths and next steps – especially when things derail us from what we assumed would be our story.

Invest time in honestly figuring out your WHY, to clarifying your deeply held values, to being clear about what drives you.

Why do you want to achieve the goal you set? And after you answer that question, drill down and ask another why. And another and another – as many as it takes to get to the heart of things.

Question your own answers.

· Do you want it because you think you should?

· Do you want it because someone else has it?

· Do you want it because getting it would let you avoid thinking about something you want more?

· Do you want it because you’re scared, angry, sad, lonely, ______ (fill in the blank), and you think will fix that? Will it?

· Do you want it because you’re crystal clear about the life you’d like to lead and achieving that goal moves you in the right direction?

Truly understanding your why gives you a solid foundation to return to – again and again – when the road to your goal becomes bumpy…and it will!

Quote: I am worthy of my deepest “why.”

Action Plans – the How

Once you determine the What (goals) and the Why, the next step is answering the How question.

Goals without action plans are merely wishes and dreams, even if they meet all SMART criteria.

“I will eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day” is specific, measurable, time-bound, and within your control. Great! But, how will you actually do that? What decisions and steps are necessary to achieve that goal?

· What fruits and vegetables do you actually like?

· Which do you have the time and energy to prepare?

· When will you need to buy them (Do they need to be used within days of purchase, or can you be flexible in consuming them throughout the week?)

· Fresh or frozen?

· Do raisins count?

· How about French fries?

· Will you prep on the weekends so you have easy-to-grab options during the week when you’re busy and tired?

· Will you use some implementation intentions (more on that soon) to increase the likelihood that you’ll reach for some fruit instead of a candy bar?

Invest time. That’s becoming a recommendation on repeat! Invest time at the beginning of your goal journey to create a detailed and realistic action plan to ensure you go beyond wishes and dreams to making it real.

Self-regulating to Achieve Goals

Theory and research suggest some ways to use goal setting to increase your self-regulation.

Self-regulation is the process of understanding and managing your own behaviors – without relying on outside sources of motivation. It’s basically following through on your goals and action plans because you can and you want to, not because someone is “making” you or you think you “should”. The following strategies are especially useful for strengthening your self-regulation abilities.

* Subdivide a long-term goal into shorter term sub-goals. Spend some time figuring out what sub-goals must be accomplished to attain your long-term goals. Focus your energy on the action steps – and let the long-term goals take care of themselves.

* Encourage. Make sure the goal is reasonable – and “genuinely believe that it is” - and commit to your efforts to achieve it. Provide your own internal and external encouragement (e.g., affirmations - "I can do this.").

* Self-monitor progress. Build in regular checkpoints to honestly gauge your progress and challenges. Decide on benchmarks that will help you recognize your movement on your goal-journey. Sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to acknowledge and accept our progress, but it’s essential to do so. Don’t rely on your “feelings” about what’s going well or not going well.

* Coping Strategies. Use strategies for coping with difficulties. We’ll talk more about this next week, particularly with a focus on Implementation Intentions – which is a strategy that has proven to be effective. Connecting this to the self-monitoring point, you could re-evaluate your goal and timelines, and realize that lack of progress or feelings of frustration don’t mean you’re on the wrong path. They might just mean it’s worth taking some time to compassionately adjust your expectations or steps.

* Self-evaluate capabilities. Only looking at the distance to the ultimate goal is often discouraging. But, regularly taking the time to encourage yourself and to recognize your progress will strengthen self-efficacy, which is the belief that you CAN do. You are capable of achieving goals that you set. Self-efficacy, a positive evaluation of yourself and your potential, is critical for continued motivation and self-regulation. You must be honest about what you can do (at least at this point in time, given all of the realities of your life right now) and you must genuinely believe (or work to develop that belief) that you ARE capable.

* Give yourself time. Especially when we’re excited about a goal, we often push ourselves too hard. As you monitor and evaluate your progress, ensure you’ve honestly and as fully as possible taken into consideration the complexity and challenges of the goal. It’s important that you:

· Give yourself sufficient time to meet the goal. It doesn’t matter if you want it now (or yesterday). Be reasonable in establishing your time-line so that you avoid burnout or doubt in your abilities (or the possibility of success).

· Be compassionate and realistic as you give yourself time to practice or learn all that is needed for your success.

· Consistency and persistence are keys – no matter the goal.

Goal setting can facilitate success, and the best way to do that is to facilitate YOU.

Don’t work against yourself – and then use “failure” as evidence that you’re incapable – again! Work with and for yourself to create the conditions and support the self-beliefs that will demonstrate that you are capable – to achieve your goals and to make adjustments along the way to ensure that.

We’ll end this week with some affirmations. Say them on repeat!

· I commit to my goals.

· I am determined to succeed in reaching my goals.

· Self-discipline is self-love.

· I do what I’ve set out to do because I love myself.

~Eileen

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